Tuesday September 21, 2010

Mom took the day off of work to go with me to my appointment. I'm getting nervous. I really want twins but I have been thinking about the possibility of it being triplets. I don't know how I would do it. It seems almost impossible. I hope it's only twins. I don't think my body can handle more than that.

When the screen showed my uterus I could see two sacs. All Dr D said was, "I see trouble." My mom got really nervous. She wasn't sure if there really was trouble or he was joking. He was joking of course.

I knew it! Twins.

I just wanted to hear the heartbeats and I did. What a relief. He said I was 5 weeks 4 days in gestation. He gave me my odds in this pregnancy. 70% that both would survive, 29% one would survive and 1% of losing both. I appreciate his directness and honesty at each visit.

Back in a few weeks for another ultrasound and hopefully to be discharged to my regular OB.

As we left the office my mom was so excited that I was having twins. I gave her some of the pictures to take home and stare at.

I'm happy but still scared. There is so much uncertainty. I feel as though there are many obstacles to overcome. I think of all of the problems that came up in the last pregnancy and those are all goals for me surpass without it becoming a problem again. With each one we get through successfully I shall breath a little sigh of relief. Until the day they actually come through the door in our home I shall be scared.

Tuesday September 7, 2010

Another blood draw. My numbers are sky high. I am soooo convinced there are more than one. I've been looking online for studies on these levels and it looks very likely. Now I have to wait for my first ultrasound to know for sure. September 21. Can I stand waiting that long?

Friday Sept 3, 2010

Starting from scratch again. Trying to have a family shouldn't be this hard. But we aren't ready to give up yet. We just keep on getting up and trying again. So here I am waiting again.

I have completed another cycle of injections and have been waiting to take a blood test to tell us if we were indeed pregnant again. I'm convinced we aren't. I have no symptoms like I had last time. I'm tired a lot but I'm sure that it is from the allergies. I always get hit hard with allergies the middle of August.

I went in for my blood draw this morning and feeling really down about it. I just want to go home and sleep through the next few hours of waiting. And I did sleep through some of it. Early afternoon and I was just waking up when my phone rang. The caller ID indicated it was the doctors office. Okay, get ready for disappointment. Just get it over with and then cry yourself back to sleep.

Hello.

It's Dr D. How are you feeling?

Allright. Just waking up from a nap.

Well I have you test results back and they are smokin.

So, that's a yes?

Yes, your numbers are much higher than they were last time. You are definitely pregnant.

Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. (as I begin to cry).......

I was in utter disbelief. I so did not expect these results. And my numbers were high, 275. It's got to be a multiple pregnancy. I go back on Tuesday for another blood draw to verify my numbers are climbing steadily.

I called Doug to come upstairs and since I was crying he thought it was bad news. Until I squeaked out that we were indeed pregnant. He had more confidence than I did. He thought that I was because I took naps every day.

I'm happy but terrified.