Ultrasound Pictures

Here are some of the pictures from yesterdays ultrasound. I should have more in a month.

He's not shy about showing off.

What a cute footsie!

Another trouble maker.

That is Papa's boy.

I wish they had put some of the heart pictures on the disk. Those are pictures to be proud of too.

Much Love to all of you and have safe and wonderful new year.

Shock and Awe

What a week it has been. I spent a few days over the Christmas holiday in Hudson, WI. Hello Wisconsin! I was there visiting my cousin and his wife as well as my uncle who was in town. My uncle's birthday is the 26th and that was the the party day for us. We all had a wonderful time hanging out. Happy birthday Greg!

The babies were quite active those few days. One of them discovered my ribs and thought it made a nice toy for kicking. Much to mommy's chagrin, this continued for most of a day. I think they were a little hyped up on the flying experience. They pushed aggressively on my bladder during descents and landings. It was all I could do to hold it in. They weren't the only ones squirming.

Doug had to work the days I was out of town. Thankfully he was flying with a great captain that he knew previously.

We both arrived home on the 27th. And they babies spent the next two days sleeping. I was starting to get nervous about the lack of movement but yesterday they woke up and have been kicking and prodding with subtlety. Grandma Deborah and Grandpa Joseph arrived yesterday. They wanted to be in town for the ultrasound and to celebrate Doug's birthday, which is today. Happy Birthday Babe!

I thought scheduling the ultrasound on Doug's birthday would be fun gift. We hope to find out what we are having if they decide to cooperate. Of course I'm really nervous that this could backfire on me if we discover any defects or if one of the babies has died. We shall see.

Yesterday was of interest. As I mentioned before, Deborah and Joseph flew in and it happened to be their anniversary. Happy Anniversary! In the evening we planned to go to the new Kroc center behind our house for a tour. They were interested in seeing it since it has been under construction for the last two years. Then we were going out for dinner to celebrate their anniversary.

Alas, it would not be. As we were walking up to the Kroc center I took a nasty spill. I was to preoccupied with looking at the building and NOT watching where I was going. I did not see where the sidewalk ended and the drive up began. So when I took a step and my foot didn't hit the sidewalk when I expected to I kept right on going all the way down to my hands and knees. I was in shock. I couldn't believe I was on the ground, then I realized I couldn't really move my left arm. It was stuck. I was stuck. Deborah and Joseph both pulled me up and helped me hobble into the Kroc center to sit down. The workers got the first aid kit and dressed the abrasions on my knees. After we filled out the paperwork they needed we went to the ER.

I was angry and terrified. It took everything in me to not go into hysterics. What if I did something to the babies? After sitting in the waiting room for a couple of hours I started to feel movement again. This greatly relieved my stress. But the pain in my arm increased. I thought I might have a hairline break. Finally, they took me for an x-ray which hurt like hell. I cried so and sobbed all the way to my exam room. Now I knew it was broken. The doctor finally came in and said he thought it was a fracture in the radial ball and would confirm that with the x-ray. Which it did. Thankfully, I did not require a cast or for any bones to be set. Just a splint and some exercises to start in a couple of days. I am to expect the possibility of physical therapy at some point.

By the time we got home it was midnight. No one got dinner. We all crashed in bed.

So far, in these past few hours I have discovered some of the "difficult to do" and "unable to do" actions. Remember, I am left-handed and this is my injured arm.

Difficult: getting in and out of bed, turning in bed (as if this wasn't really difficult already, now nearly impossible), dressing and undressing, going potty (I know, to much info), typing, brushing my teeth, eating, staying balanced, putting on shoes, showering, carrying things

Unable: cutting food so that means most cooking, driving (no more princess parking for Doug), sewing, cutting fabric, knitting, writing, washing and folding laundry, putting on a bra, putting my hair up, ironing, holding babies (like my little friend Laura)

I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for, just venting my utter frustration at life. I've been anxious to say goodbye to this year but it appears 2010 wanted one last hoo-rah. One last slap in the face before the new year. Being pregnant makes so many things challenging enough but to add this on top of it...makes me want to just break down and cry. Thank goodness for my cats. They keep me sane and entertained.

So this afternoon was the ultrasound we have been waiting for. I was stressed and just wanted to get it over with. I had a headache forming prior to leaving the house. We had quite the entourage. In addition to Doug and myself, my Mom, Deborah and Joseph came. The mothers came in to watch the ultrasound.

The office felt sorry for me and my broken arm so I soaked up the pity, ha ha. Okay, so laying on the table was a tad uncomfortable for the arm but I made it work. I struggled to keep back the tears of anxiety and worry.

Right away the tech got a wide view showing two babies. Whew. Then she quickly went from one to the other to see that the hearts were beating. Double whew. I started crying with a small amount of relief. Then she focused in on one. Apparently that one really wanted to show its stuff because the legs were spread wide. And a boy it is. Okay, so I was taken aback. I really didn't expect that, but it made me happy. Maybe, just maybe I will get my boy and girl. The tech continued on with all of the measurements and photos she needed to capture on my little boy. Once she got to the heart she was sure to take several views and see very clearly ALL FOUR chambers of the heart. Huge sigh of relief from everyone in the room. One down, one to go.

On to the next baby. Searching for those thighs. Ah, there it is. Yep, another boy. Let it sink in. I really thought we were having two girls based on the higher heart rate and closeness of the two. So I thought if it wasn't girls then it most likely was two boys. And yet I wanted to be wrong and have one of each. Well, looks like I was right about the two-of-a-kind. Oh my gosh. What am I going to do. I have pink everywhere and no blue in sight. Pull it back in girl. We aren't done with this ultrasound yet. I laid there watching as each body part was found and measured. Once we got to the heart and the four chambers popped up , easily to be seen by all, I sobbed in relief. We have two very healthy boys.

I'm still reeling from the news. I don't know if it has all sunk in yet. I hope tomorrow I wake up overjoyed and filled with peace knowing, yes, really knowing that they are healthy. No defects at all. Maybe, just maybe 2011 will be kind to us. Now I need to focus on going to 38 weeks with this pregnancy to minimize any complications. Oh, let it be so.

After the appointment, the entourage went out for dinner to celebrate Doug's birthday and the wonderful news of our precious children.

It has been an emotional evening. I feel like I should just crawl into bed and sob myself to sleep. Let out all of the pent up anxiety and stress I have been carrying through this pregnancy. Yes, I think my bed is calling to me right now. I shall not delay any longer to fall into the softness that awaits me.

Many thanks to all of you who have been praying for and thinking of us.

Growing Pains

I have been feeling the stretching of my uterus for the past month or so. It has been quite uncomfortable this time around. With Arawynn it was always a dull ache but this time I get sharp pains. "Well, duh," you say. That's what happens with twins. The growing happens faster.

But the real growing pains started yesterday. Yep. My pelvis and hips are moving. This must be what the Earth feels when the tectonic plates decide to shift near the Ring of Fire. Good night! I don't miss this part. I nearly got stuck on my back in bed last night when I wanted to turn over. My hips were screaming, "NO, it hurts to darn much!!!" I guess my "tectonic plates" are getting ready for their own "Ring of Fire" action. (Go ahead, be impressed with my analogy. There are some things I remember from school.)

And of course when your preggo you have to visit the bathroom in the middle of the night. I made it out of the bedroom (barely). The pain in my hip was so much and I thought it was going to give out on me each step of the way. So then I had to crawl the rest of the way. Oh, the things we go through just to pee. If I go on bed rest later on, I'll be sure to ask for a catheter. Ha!

I'm really not complaining. Promise. Nothing in this pregnancy will make me say, "I changed my mind."

17 weeks

Wowza! I'm four months along already. Had my check up and everything is measuring good. My weight hasn't gone up but at least I haven't lost any. Heart rates were 146 and 151. I don't have a date for my ultrasound yet but they should call me with that info tomorrow. I'm aiming to have it on Doug's birthday. I thought it would be a nice birthday gift for him to find out what we are having. Here's to hoping they cooperate.

I have been pretty busy the this past week helping Amber out with her girls while she recovers and gets into the groove of having a new baby at home. I love snuggling that little baby. It makes me a tad impatient for my babies to arrive. And yet, I wonder how my arms are going to hold two babies. Mine are full just holding her one.

Sigh, I'm excited for that day to come when they are born. I really enjoyed the experience of giving birth and it makes me look forward to doing it all over again. When Arawynn was born I remember thinking that next day how I was ready to do it all again. Only 5 more months!

A quick update on my friends:
Please continue to pray for Jacob and Linda. The next 3 years are going to be tough as their son goes through treatments. He is at home but has a pretty busy schedule of treatments, clinic and dr visits. It's overwhelming for the family adjusting to a new normal in life.

Steve was in the hospital for a few days and when he came home he was still hurting but definitely on the mend. Four days after coming home his third daughter, Laura, was born and Amber was in the hospital for a few days. They are now all home and doing well. But it was a hectic couple of weeks for them.

A weekend to remember

This isn't so much about my pregnancy other than I think, maybe, possibly I felt movement yesterday. I was waiting at the airport in Ft Myers to come home when a couple of times I felt some fluttering. Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised because in the last two weeks my stomach has grown a lot. I actually feel a little sad when I look in the mirror. I can't imagine how huge I will be at 6 months let alone right before having the babies. I don't think my maternity clothes will get me thru this one. Hello shopping spree!

I had a really great weekend in Fort Myer celebrating with the Lang family. It was a bachelorette party for Karey, Doug's cousin who will be married in less than two weeks. Talk about one crazy family :). We went to a place that teaches Pole Dancing. So fun to watch the girls learn the moves. There were games for the bride and plenty of jello shots to go around. It was great being there with the cousins and aunts and even Grandma came.

Onto a more serious subject though. I wanted share some stories with you that perhaps you would pray about. While I was having fun in FL some of my friends were having some family emergencies.

Linda and Jacob Quist have 3 children. One is only a few weeks old. On Thursday they got news that their son, Ike about 2 years, has leukemia. He had to go into the hospital the same day to start tx and he is still there. My heart is heavy just knowing all too well what emotions they have been going thru.

Steve and Amber Shrontz have 2 girls, 5 and 2, and they are having another girl in a couple of weeks. Steve came down with pancreatitis on Saturday and is in the hospital. The medical staff is working to manage the pain but he is still in a lot of pain. Amber is taking care of the girls while being oober preggo and worrying about her sick husband.

I am going to help with meals and my time or anything they need help with but both of these families can use all of the prayers you can offer.

It all brings me back to those weeks we were in Ann Arbor and I get emotional. I wish they didn't have to go thru this now or ever. It's a tough road.

13 weeks and counting

Today was my first appt at the regular OB. And the first day I have seen snow this season.

I thought this was to be a quick appt. Take measurements and review my medical history. I was surprised when the nurse walked me back to a room with an ultrasound machine in it. I asked if I was supposed to have an u/s today and she said yes. I started to panic and cry. She probably thought I was a little batty, after all, it's JUST an ultrasound. I said I wasn't expecting one and that I was scared to be there alone. I know she didn't understand but she didn't give me a hard time about it. I asked if I could come back later in the day with my mom but Dr L wasn't there in the afternoon.

Then she looked at my chart and saw I was having twins and asked when my daughter was born. I told her April 13th and she smiled and said it will be like having triplets. When I told her no, my daughter died in May then I saw the light go on in her head. I explained that Arawynn had a heart defect.

She understood why I was so upset about having an ultrasound by myself. I was scared of getting bad news and having no one to be with me. She said we could forget it and do it the next time I came in. So she took me to a regular exam room.

While I waited for Dr L to come in I was trying to calm down. I don't know why I felt so panicky still. When he came in and we started talking I felt so much better. He knows me and what I went through. The nurses don't. They barely look in my chart accept for the most basic info. Looking at a patients history doesn't seem to even cross there mind. But Dr L knew. I felt safer, I guess because I didn't feel like a stranger with him.

Anyway, my tummy measured well and he could hear both heartbeats on his little monitor. Both in the 150's. I speculate it is 2 of a kind. No boy/girl combo. But we shall see soon enough.

He wasn't worried about not doing an ultrasound since I had a couple with Dr D already. I go back in 4 weeks for another check up and at that time we will schedule the BIG ultrasound.

Since I'm having twins I am considered high risk. So he expects monthly ultrasounds and he will have me do all or most of them at the Maternal Fetal Medicine again because they have a better machine and can do an echo as well.

We spent the rest of the time chatting about genetics and antidepressants and unknown factors that cause birth defects. He is so honest and straightforward. I never feel like he is dancing around subjects that he doesn't want to talk about. I feel confident in him.

So, it was a good report that I left with. Looking forward to the big ultrasound sometime beginning of January.

Oh yeah, I hate their scales. They make me 6 pounds heavier than my scale at home. Next time I'm going to the appointment naked.

12 weeks

So yesterday I hit the 12 week mark. I'm starting to get pretty excited. I talk to the babies every day and tell them I love them many times a day. They need to get to know my voice.

I'm hoping I've made it through a very successful first trimester. I did not have an ectopic pregnancy, yay. Big yay because this means no surgery and I still have a tube to have more children later. And so far I have not had an episode of bleeding. If I get through the next week without the bleeding I'm officially concluding it as a success.

Then I will be onto the next obstacle. Getting through the BIG ultrasound and receiving a clean bill of health for my two little ones.

And finding out what they are of course. :)

Tuesday September 21, 2010

Mom took the day off of work to go with me to my appointment. I'm getting nervous. I really want twins but I have been thinking about the possibility of it being triplets. I don't know how I would do it. It seems almost impossible. I hope it's only twins. I don't think my body can handle more than that.

When the screen showed my uterus I could see two sacs. All Dr D said was, "I see trouble." My mom got really nervous. She wasn't sure if there really was trouble or he was joking. He was joking of course.

I knew it! Twins.

I just wanted to hear the heartbeats and I did. What a relief. He said I was 5 weeks 4 days in gestation. He gave me my odds in this pregnancy. 70% that both would survive, 29% one would survive and 1% of losing both. I appreciate his directness and honesty at each visit.

Back in a few weeks for another ultrasound and hopefully to be discharged to my regular OB.

As we left the office my mom was so excited that I was having twins. I gave her some of the pictures to take home and stare at.

I'm happy but still scared. There is so much uncertainty. I feel as though there are many obstacles to overcome. I think of all of the problems that came up in the last pregnancy and those are all goals for me surpass without it becoming a problem again. With each one we get through successfully I shall breath a little sigh of relief. Until the day they actually come through the door in our home I shall be scared.

Tuesday September 7, 2010

Another blood draw. My numbers are sky high. I am soooo convinced there are more than one. I've been looking online for studies on these levels and it looks very likely. Now I have to wait for my first ultrasound to know for sure. September 21. Can I stand waiting that long?

Friday Sept 3, 2010

Starting from scratch again. Trying to have a family shouldn't be this hard. But we aren't ready to give up yet. We just keep on getting up and trying again. So here I am waiting again.

I have completed another cycle of injections and have been waiting to take a blood test to tell us if we were indeed pregnant again. I'm convinced we aren't. I have no symptoms like I had last time. I'm tired a lot but I'm sure that it is from the allergies. I always get hit hard with allergies the middle of August.

I went in for my blood draw this morning and feeling really down about it. I just want to go home and sleep through the next few hours of waiting. And I did sleep through some of it. Early afternoon and I was just waking up when my phone rang. The caller ID indicated it was the doctors office. Okay, get ready for disappointment. Just get it over with and then cry yourself back to sleep.

Hello.

It's Dr D. How are you feeling?

Allright. Just waking up from a nap.

Well I have you test results back and they are smokin.

So, that's a yes?

Yes, your numbers are much higher than they were last time. You are definitely pregnant.

Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. (as I begin to cry).......

I was in utter disbelief. I so did not expect these results. And my numbers were high, 275. It's got to be a multiple pregnancy. I go back on Tuesday for another blood draw to verify my numbers are climbing steadily.

I called Doug to come upstairs and since I was crying he thought it was bad news. Until I squeaked out that we were indeed pregnant. He had more confidence than I did. He thought that I was because I took naps every day.

I'm happy but terrified.