Home Stretch

I had my last doctor appointment today!  I still don't look any closer than a couple of weeks ago.  BUT!  I am scheduled to go on Monday evening for an induction.  That's right, I can finally start counting DOWN the days.
As long as my body takes to the induction, which shouldn't be an issue since I have already gone through a pregnancy, then sometime Tuesday I should be holding two little boys in my arms.  So excited over here!  Why is it the closer you get to something the longer it takes to get there.  The days have been so long and I have a feeling this weekend is going to feel like a century.  Deep breath.  It will happen.

Less than 2 weeks!

I'm so close but it seems so far away.  Thursday I went in for my weekly non-stress test.  It all went well as usual.  The doctor said that at my next appointment we will schedule my induction date.  I will be 38 weeks at that appointment.  That's full term for twins.  So if I have not had the babies by next week Thursday (28th) then we will schedule the induction for the following week.  Woo hoo!  Let's start the countdown.  He said the last time he let a patient go the full 40 weeks she ended up have 8 lb + babies.  Oiy!  No way Jose.  So he doesn't want to let that happen to me.

Each day has been very difficult for me to get through.  Standing and walking is getting immensely difficult.  The weight is what makes it so uncomfortable.  I think I have a partially pinched nerve to my right leg.  Only a few more days though.  Oh how I imagine what it will feel to lie down in a comfy bed again.

Beside the physical discomfort being so much more challenging this time around, my emotions have been worse off too.  It has been a scary roller coaster ride.  I don't know if it's because of all the testosterone I am carrying or what but I am chomping at the bit to get past this.  This hormonal imbalance is some tough shtuff to deal with.   Pray that I make it through these next days with my sanity intact.

P.S.  A Happy Birthday to Deborah's man, Joseph.  Sending him all our love.

April Showers

Last ultrasound was yesterday!  So glad too.  We got the neatest picture of the boys face to face.  In order to see them you have to look at it from one angle and then rotate it 180 degrees to see the other face.  Which I have done below.  It's the same photo but I rotated the second one so you can see better.  Look at the left half of each picture.

The above view shows Baby A pretty well.  His mouth is a little bit open.

The below view is Baby B.  Not as clear but you can see the big forehead, the ridge where the eye is, his nose and you can barely see the upper lip.  Oh and that cute little cheek!

The boys are growing well.  Their approximate weights were 5lb 1oz and 5lb 4oz.  I thought they might be closer to 6lbs and I was actually happy to know they weren't.  But they are big enough to fit into the car seats we have if the measurements are accurate.  

So now we are continuing the waiting.  Day by day.

I am glad we were able to make it past Arawynn's birthday on the 13th and my sister's birthday on the 14th.  Now if we can avoid my brother's birthday on the 17th we should be in the clear.  So if they were born on the 18th I would be pretty happy.  

Quick note of thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers on Wednesday.  Arawynn's birthday was a pretty tough day for us.  I had been debating about whether to make a cake or not.  I wasn't sure if was appropriate.  I did not make one but that morning when Doug awoke he decided we needed one and ran to the store.  I wish I had gone ahead and made one.  I think it would have been a meaningful memory for me if I had.  Instead Doug picked out a small pre-made cake and had them write "Happy 1st Birthday Arawynn" on it.  He also picked out a birthday card for her and we both wrote something in it.  Then at 9:53am (the time she was born) he lit the candle.  We sat at the table crying and not saying much at all.  After a few minutes he blew out the candle for her and then we had some cake.  It sure doesn't taste as good when you cry.  

We spent the rest of the morning thinking about her and looking through her things.  It was strange remembering what was happening on that day a year ago while I sat there looking and feeling even more pregnant now than I was then.  I think it made those memories feel a little sharper and clearer.

By the early afternoon we were ready to get out of the house.  So we made ourselves presentable enough and went over to Steve and Amber's.  We had a nice evening there.  Doug pushed the girls on the swing set while I sat in the sun with Amber and talked.  The guys grilled up dinner and then we played some games before going back home.  The day ended on a better note than it had started. 

The next day was the ultrasound but it was also my sisters birthday.  It is hard to imagine she has been gone for nearly 5 years.  I can't say it was at the forefront of my mind all day but I certainly was aware of it.  I know it was difficult for my mom.  We agreed there was kind of a fog or cloud just hanging over the day.  I guess having two days in a row of birthdays for departed family can be a bit tough.  The saying April Showers has a whole new meaning.  We may have not had showers in the forecast but there were showers of sadness and tears.

the weight of waiting

It's been a few weeks so I thought I would let you know how I'm doing. Tired.

I am ready to finish this pregnancy. Throughout it I have been keeping April 30 in my head as a target date. I kept telling myself this so that it would happen and they would have the advantage of completely "baking until done." Now I want to throw that date out the window and have them "today." Unfortunately, I think the boys are going to wait until the end of the month because I've convinced them that's what they need to do.

I am a little nervous however that they may decide to make an appearance on Arawynn's birthday. This thought makes me uncomfortable and I really hope that does not happen. It would be really hard for me to give my all to celebrating their birthday and having to shelve the emotions of grief that I'm sure I will feel that day and each year following. Obviously it wouldn't lessen my love for them. But, I have so little of Arawynn to hold onto that I want that day to belong entirely to her.

So, only God knows when they will make their arrival in this world. Right now I'm not worth much. I sit in my recliner and sleep, read and peruse the internet. I sure read about more news than ever before. Not like I have much else to do. I want to be up and getting lots of things done but I don't have the stamina. So glad my mom is here to help with making dinners and taking me to the grocery store. It can get discouraging for me that I can't get certain projects worked on because my mobility and energy is so limited. So much in my mind to do.

Just waiting....and waiting...

Happy Paddy Day

This is one especially happy St Patrick's day. Last week I had an episode of a few hours of discomfort and I was hoping that one of the boys turned head down. Well, I'm happy to report that at my ultrasound today we saw two little heads side by side in the head down position. That's right. They made me a very happy mommy. The picture below is of that first glimpse of the heads together. So excited.

I think I'm finally ready for these boys to be born. I know they are not. They need to cook a little longer. But, if they stay in the correct position until they are ready then I will be all set for a vaginal delivery. I hope I hope!

At the end of the ultrasound we tried for a 3D image. They haven't exactly been cooperating the last few ultrasounds for a good picture. I got one today of Baby B as you can see in the next photo. Baby A is still a little shy about showing us his face.

Baby A is 4 pounds and Baby B is 3 pounds 10 ounces. They are growing well and right on track. I was honestly surprised they were that big. But then again my stomach feels so much bigger and of course I have several new stretch marks.

All in all it was a good ultrasound. I didn't even have problems with blacking out this go around. My next ultrasound is again in 4 weeks. Next week I start with the non-stress tests.

I have been sick with a cold for the last 11 days and wish it would end. Pray that I recover from it soon. It's hard enough breathing when you are pregnant. I've been sleeping in the recliner for the last few nights which has definitely helped me get some rest. I had been having to many sleep apnea problems when the cold first hit. The plus side to sleeping in a recliner is that it is easier and quicker for me to get up and use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

To change the subject completely....I have to say that today was so beautiful outside. It got into the 60's. Made me wish I could stay out there and play. I need more days like that. Please say that the snow is finished. Pleeeease.

32 weeks and counting,

Molly

I'm so blessed

We have been so blessed in the past week. Last Thursday the office staff at Sunset Association gave me a shower. They are so wonderful. I love them all and I am so happy that my Mom works there with so many awesome people. Then I had another shower on Sunday with the Lang family in Clarkston. It is so heart warming to know so many who care so deeply for our family. Between the two showers I was blessed with many clothes and books and the last few essential pieces to welcome home the boys. Cloth diapers, car seats, dual stroller and a pack'n'play. So incredible. I am ready for when the boys arrive. Thank you to everyone for such love and devotion you display to our family.

The boys are definitely growing stronger. Yesterday they put me through plenty of discomfort. In the afternoon I felt some discomfort in my back and then it went straight through to the front just under my rib cage. There was a lot of pressure and it was somewhat painful to breath. This lasted for a few hours and I can only hope and pray that one of the boys was finally flipping over and getting into position. Next week I should know if that was the case or not when I go into for another ultrasound. Still crossing my fingers that I get a good face shot of each of them. Last night we had some friends over for dinner as well as my Mom and they all thought that my belly had dropped some. Maybe that is an indication that someone did move into position...

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the day I get to meet my boys face to face and bring them home. The days are slowly ticking away.

As the baby turns.

So I had another ultrasound. I wasn't expecting much change from the last one. I have been talking to Baby B every day and saying he needs to flip over and put his head down. But I never felt any major shifts or changes. But first thing when the monitor was put on me the technician said they were both breech. What the.... Are you kidding? This momma was not happy. So apparently one of them is a good listener. Just not the one I had been having these discussions with. Maybe Baby A is trying to show B how it is done....if only.

Okay, I get that there is still time for them to get into the right position but I just want to not worry about it. I really want to avoid a C-section. Unfortunately I have had a couple of dreams that involved a C-section. Perhaps they mean for me to be prepared for it. I don't know. I'm still crossing my fingers and hoping. I still can't believe they are both breech right now.

The rest of the appointment went just fine. They did another echo of the hearts and they still look fabulous. I did start feeling funny part way into and needed a break. I was able to put a pillow behind the right side of my back to keep me somewhat propped up and that helped a lot. No more blacking out after that. Unfortunately I couldn't get any cute pictures of the faces because they were both facing my back. Are they bashful or just stubborn? Probably the latter. Breech, really! Oiy.

A hand of each boy. If the placentas weren't keeping them separate I bet they would be holding hands.

There is a fist by his right ear. You can see the back of his head and neck but he sure doesn't want to show you his face.

It's a perfect 4 chamber heart!

What a cute hand.